Its hard for any girl to sit around and not know what the point of their lives are. The only thing we are given is that God has a plan for us, and that our plan is to live whole heartily for him. But what else is there? How are we to do this? What if we fail? What if no matter how hard we try it just doesn't seem possible?
I know that for me. I hurt everyday. Something in my life comes back to hurt me. Whether it be school, home, boys, or friends. But I know that the devil wants us to live in pain and hurt. He doesn't want us to be able to see life in a positive way. But we will always hurt because we are human, and live on earth with sin. But what can we do about it?
I know that I always am looking for love. I enjoy loving others, and I want to be loved. But I know that I have been learning what its like to truly feel Christs love. Something so amazing. Something I need. A love I will never find anywhere else but with Christ. But I still at times find my self wanting more love. The love of my peers, and the love of a man. But this love won't be found until, I can fully love myself and Christ. How do I do that?
I know that I sometimes feel like I can never be happy. That my life just never will be something to be happy about. But other days I just sit there feeling so happy, I dont know how to hold all the happiness in. I find that I want the most happiness I can get I want to be forever happy. I don't want pain. But its kind of part of life. But the more I live for God the happier I should be. How do I do that?
I know that I don't always know what truth is. I look for the truth everywhere. Sometimes its right in front of me. Isn't the truth God? But why do I always feel like Im not being told everything? Why do I need to know this, I should be happy with knowing that Christ is the truth. How do I face that the truth I know is revealed by God?
I know that sometimes I sit around wondering what the point of my life is. Why I sit here going through things like this. Why can't I have the no hurt, lots of love and happiness? I think I just have to be able to lay it down to God. It will be clear when the time is right.
To figure out how to understand hurt, I need to see that Christ suffered for us. God hurts when he sees his people so far away from what he designed us for. The bible tells us the road won't be easy, we will suffer. I chose this. But I won't always have to feel this way. I need to do what he asks of me.
To know how to love like Christ. I need to remember I love because he first loved me. 1 John 4:19. We wouldn't even be able to love if he didn't love us. If we show love for him. If we read, and study his word, if we pray, and meditate and work on the removal of our sin. This will help. If we help others, if we don't think of ourselves everything would change.
Being happy will come. Even if I don't have it when I want it. If I wasn't so selfish I wouldn't have this problem. I need to know that God tells me that I will not always be happy. But as long as I don't lose hope in him. I will get the happiness he promises in the end.
Truth will come as long as I only find the truth from what God has to say. He is the only real answer. This takes time. But he is the truth. The bible mentions that. Jesus says I am the way, the truth and the life..... John 14:6. Knowing the truth will bring great things.
With all of this. I know that my life can be fulfilled the way God intended.
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